Monday, January 19, 2009;
So um here are some jokes you might find funny um so here they are.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage
Simply read from bottom to top.
next.....
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy - “I have a football.”
Man - “That’s nice.”
Boy - “Want to buy it?”
Man - “No, thanks.”
Boy - “My dad’s outside.”
Man - “OK, how much?”
Boy - “£250″
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - “Dark in here.”
Man - “Yes, it is.”
Boy - “I have football boots.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy - £750″
Man - “Sold.”
A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, “Grab your boots and football, let’s go outside and have a game of soccer.
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and boots.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy -”£1,000.”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”
Heres the next one
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep
your mouth shut!
......hope these were funny.....peace out
Labels: cho-king around
the victim shall die at 1:51 AM
